Most of us always struggle to say no, but this is an important art to master. We often end up saying yes to irrelevant things just out of fear that the other person might feel discarded and just to shun this feeling, we say yes to things that aren’t in line with our belief.
We end up being part of those office gossips, though it doesn’t go with our ethics just because we donot want to be refused by our co-workers and somehow just for their approval we say yes to be part of something that we never liked in first place. Next time try and say No to the dinner invite of the relative who always makes fun of you which you accepted just so that your mom is happy ……….say a clear no to any such social obligation that drain your life of time and energy.
These examples I quoted are just the tip of the iceberg, there are people who are kind but yet they end up being part of the bigger plot and scheme just because they couldn’t say no. I have known people who are genuine but who ended up being emissaries to bad people, as they wanted their approval and couldn’t say no. I have seen them regretting, apologizing but at what cost, they compromised with their values, virtues and above all their time, they caused themselves stress, as they neither wanted to be part of it and nor could they now live with the fact that they did it.
So what happens when you say a Yes without actually wanting to do something……….it happens to each one of us……….well we hate what we do then we stress about it, get perturbed and we hate the other person more. Almost all of us have a fear that we might be judged, condemned or criticized for saying a No and hence we end up being People Pleaser. So next time when you say a Yes, just do a mental calculation of the time, effort and sometimes money that goes into saying a yes to things that you could have said no to, we all have tightly packed schedules and please let me be clear about one very important thing that is it applies to every single person from a Janitor to a CEO has its own set of priorities and things that really matter to them, which sometimes saying a yes always have to be sidelined and forgotten……….so teach yourself that it’s time to make a change…..and how fruitful this change could be let me just highlight few instances for you………
- You are gonna spend more time with your family, children, pets and in fact with your passion if you start saying no to those late evening drinks that your boss or coworkers ask you for and you donot even want to attend.
- You will be saved of attending so many weddings and functions of the cousins which you were doing just for your mom’s approval.
- You are going to enjoy your weekends if you start saying no to those uncalled extra work hours on weekends, which actually are meant for those lunches and gossips only, so save on those hours you sat through when you had no real reason to be there.
Saying no to things we donot approve of will allow us to say yes to things that matter more to us………..so a small no will help us work on things that are our priorities………… and before we wind up, let me just tell you that this article in no way aims to insinuate my fellow human beings to start getting into a brawl every time someone asks for a favor that we don’t really appreciate of …………..all I am trying to convince of is that we usually overestimate the cost of saying no and hence end up saying a yes…….though actually all we need to do is just practice different polite but confident ways of saying no without any explanation of course………
- I really wanted to but………not this time.
- Sorry – something very important and personal came up today.
- No Not right now, but will surely get back to you if things change.
- Such an honor you thought of me but I am dealing with too much right now.
So fellow beings remember that saying an unnecessary yes will always add extra pressure in our life; it will cut our ‘Me time’. Tune yourself to remind that going for that late night coffee or helping a lazy bone with their excel sheet might end up giving you sleep-less nights and disrupting your healthy cycle of exercise and diet. Few things which we might never get back are the precious time lost and the compromise we make with our worth and virtue. So it’s just fine to say no.